Siblings & Addiction

They don’t talk about the siblings enough.

The ones who didn’t use.

The ones who kept their grades up.

The ones who learned how to be “easy” while the house burned.

The ones who held their breath every time the phone rang.

The ones who watched their sibling unravel

and quietly lost their parent to fear, hypervigilance, and survival mode.

Because addiction doesn’t just take one child.

It fractures the entire family system.

And sometimes, without intending to,

it teaches the siblings that their job is to not need too much.

They grieved too.

They just did it quietly.

They learned early how to read the room.

How to shrink their feelings.

How to be responsible for other people’s pain.

That’s how people pleasers are made.

Not from kindness. From survival.

I didn’t always see it.

I was drowning in fear, guilt, and desperation.

I was trying to save one child while unknowingly disconnecting from the others.

There was resentment.

There was silence.

There was damage.

And pretending otherwise helps no one.

Healing didn’t come from a perfect rehab or a family weekend workshop.

It came slowly. Through truth-telling. Through space.

Through letting everyone have their pain without comparison or hierarchy.

And watching my children find their way back to each other

on their own terms

was one of the most humbling things I’ve ever witnessed.

This is why families need guidance.

Not because they’re broken.

But because addiction ripples outward

and siblings are often expected to absorb the shock quietly.

There is hope. Even for relationships that feel beyond repair.

And sometimes the quietest healing

is the most profound.

#gratitude #siblings #familydisease #addictionrecovery

They don’t talk about the siblings enough...